28 Weeks – Looks Like We Made It

 

 

28 weeks is here and all is looking well! The doctors say that Sophia will most likely do well, even if she is born now. But we are shooting for 34 weeks, to get us to July 9th and the time when Sophia would need less help in intensive care before coming home. We cooked on the grill, drank a cooler of beer and sang karaoke in the living room, well, that last one mostly if you were twelve or younger. It was raining all weekend, even through mid-day on Monday, but just before people arrived, the skies cleared, the sun came out and it was beautiful.

The party was fun, but during the weekend and after the party, I didn’t feel all that good. If anything, I felt more emotional than usual and a little sad and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I remembered an email from the woman in Pearland who had lost one of her twins early in her pregnancy. She said thought she had grieved for the twin that was lost already, but after the birth of her healthy second twin, she greived again for the first. Her heart was still expecting two babies and there was a sadness in holding just the one.

I think this was what I’m feeling. It is so great to be at 28 weeks, but it a reminder too, that not everyone made it. When I register for the single stroller instead of the double or I find myself still saying ‘babies’ instead of  ‘baby’, I’m reminded of Grace.

I’m grateful for the email from the woman in Pearland. This is a good time, we are going to get to a place with this pregnancy where we can let go of the worry and the sadness and feel more of the joy. For now, it is all right to feel some of both.