25 Weeks – Still Looking Good

We hit 25 weeks today, still looking good, no complications.

I heard from the woman in Pearland Texas who sounded like she had a similar experience to ours. She gave birth to Sofie Ann on Monday, a full-term baby at 7lbs, 5 ounces and 20 inches long. They told her that Sofie was a little large for her gestational age, which they thought was funny, after being so worried she would be born too small.

Sofie’s Mom told me more about her story and while the general idea is the same, the details are pretty different. She had different pregnancy complications and a different surgery, so her making it so far along isn’t all that related to our chances. It still feels like good energy, though, that she got in touch with us and reminded us that happy endings are possible.

I’m looking forward to the end of May, when we get to 28 weeks. This is our wedding anniversary too, it will feel good to get that far.

Fried Ice Cream, yum!

Being home bound is funny because there are so many restrictions on activity, but then there are the doctor’s appointments and doctors still don’t make house calls. My doctor said that on days when we are out for appointments, we should stop by a restaurant and have a nice meal, since we are already out. It feels like a weekend getaway, relatively speaking, compared with the other 6 1/2 days in the house.

Before our appointment on Monday, we went to Pappasito’s for lunch because I need to gain more weight (again!) and Fried Ice Cream seemed like it could help, especially if it came after cheese enchiladas with guacamole, rice and beans. We got to our table and checked out the menu, but Fried Ice Cream wasn’t on there.

We asked our waitress and she said they didn’t make it anymore. We explained that we had come just because of the Fried Ice Cream and she said she was really sorry. So, I told her that I was on bed rest and I got special permission from my doctor to leave the house and what I wanted most in the whole city was just a little Pappasito’s Fried Ice Cream.

Our waitress was great, she found someone who knew how to make it, then she didn’t even charge us for it. Then she took our picture, so we could remember our 24-week milestone.

Everything went well at the doctor’s appointment. They started me on steroids, which sounds funny, but they help the baby develop a little faster. I told Austen I’m ineligible for Major League Baseball now, she said I can’t play since all I can do is sit and lay down. Well, that too. The doctor said I can leave the house twice a week now (once for the doctor’s appointment, of coarse), as long as someone drives me and I sit down once I get there. The possibilities are endless!

Week 24 – Just a Little Bit Closer

We are at 24 weeks today and this is a big milestone. This is the beginning of the time when, if I deliver early, Sophia has a chance to survive.

Remember swimming lessons as a kid when the instructor would stand just a few yards away, but as you started swimming, she would back up a little at a time, so you would end up swimming further than you thought you could?

Well, this milestone is kind of like that. It is big because it feels a lot better than being in the time frame when your baby won’t survive, but it still isn’t where you want to be, since delivery now would mean a very small baby with medical complications, so we celebrate just for today, then 28 weeks is the new goal. (And I know that when we get there, we will celebrate for a day, then shoot for 32 weeks.)

The other day, I remembered a dream I had early in the pregnancy. I had written it down in my journal.

2/3 – My first dream about the babies – we had the twins and were back home, with people visiting. One of the babies was Emily, she was a healthy baby and I was learning to nurse her. The other baby, without a name, was very small, she could fit in the palm of my hand. She wasn’t fully formed, she had one tiny eye, the other still developing. She was healthy enough, because we were home from the hospital, be she was SO small and SO quiet that we would misplace her and I would ask Sean, “Honey, where did you leave the baby?”

At the time, I asked Sean then if he thought this meant anything and he said “no,” which I chose to believe, but now it feels like it meant something, except our smaller baby wasn’t OK and we really did loose her. Now Sean says, if the dream did mean something about Grace, it also means that Emily/Sophia is going to be a healthy baby. I guess I will choose to believe that too.

In case you are thinking that all my dreams are this meaningful, I’ll share one more. I dreamed I bought a 2-CD DVD set with a made-for-cable movie of Battlestar Gallactica in which the original Battlestar Gallactica characters and special effects battled the new Battlestar Gallactica characters and special effects. That was pretty random.

A Familiar Story

I got an email this week from a woman in Pearland, Texas. I don’t know her, but she had heard about Grace and Sophia from her Mother who goes to my church. She wanted to share her story.

She and her husband found out they were pregnant with twin girls last year. They had complications at week 22, which caused them to loose one of their baby girls. She had surgery and was told that early delivery of the second twin with medical complications was the most likely outcome. Sound familiar?

She said she is now at 38 weeks and will deliver her full-term baby this Monday. And guess what the baby’s name is – Sofie.

Pretty amazing, huh? I’ll be thinking of Sofie this Monday and I’ll let you know how she is doing.

Week 23 – No News is Good News

Nothing to talk about this week, medically speaking, which is good news.  We are one week away from the 24-week mark, when Sophia’s chance of survival starts to feel more real.

I hope the news from the rest of the world gets better this week. First Virginia Tech and then NASA, where my brother, sister and brother-in-law all work for contractors. My sister was in lock down in Mission Control for part of the day. Everyone was home safe by dinner, when my brother learned that the shooter lived on his block, on Jade Meadow Court, in Clear Lake City. I will definitely pray for better news this week.

A Red Bicycle With a Basket and a Bell

I had a strange dream last night that I was riding an old-fashioned red bicycle with a wicker basket on the handlebars and metal bell. In the road next to me, there was a black, shiny limousine with my family inside, my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. I asked them if I could ride in the limousine too, but they said there wasn’t room, I would have to ride my bicycle and I could meet them there, it would just take me longer.

I was sad that I didn’t get to ride in the limousine, but then I thought that the bicycle was OK, in a retro kind of way, and I would get there, it would just take me longer.

I thought about the dream today and why I might be mad at my family and how did they get all that money anyway, then later I felt like I might understand. I wanted to join my family in the common experience of having kids and continuing the next generation and I thought I could get there by limousine, with a routine, healthy pregnancy, but plans have changed and it is going to take longer now. Maybe not longer in the calendar sense, but longer in that, when you count each day and week, it feels like a very, very long time. When you worry about the risks and the odds, then this summer seems like a million miles away. So it feels like I got out of the limousine and I’m riding an old-fashioned red bicycle with a wicker basket on the handlebars and metal bell.

But in my dream, that was OK. I was going to meet my family anyway, it would just take me longer.

Trip to Jamaica

We had a doctor’s appointment with the specialist yesterday. Doctor’s appointments make me nervous, they don’t feel routine anymore, I feel like anything could happen.

The sonogram technician was checking things out and she started saying ‘hmmm… hm…. hm…hmmmmmm…’ and making notes and printing pictures. We asked what she was hmmming… about and she said the cervix measurements looked odd, you know, the same incompetent cervix that caused us to loose Grace, so I was getting upset and she said not to worry until the doctor came in and took a look, which is impossible.

Sean tried to distract me while we waited for the doctor by talking about a trip to Jamaica our friends are taking. Somewhere in there I’m pretty sure he promised to take me to Jamaica.

The sonogram technician came back in and said the doctor was running late, but she showed him the pictures and he wasn’t concerned so we relaxed some. The doctor explained later that I definitely have a funny looking cervix, but this is it is what he would expect given our recent experience. Everything looked fine.

Just when we got in a better mood, the doctor asked us to think about some serious questions we would need to answer if labor started too early.

So we ended up in about the same place where we started, cautiously hopeful, taking it week by week and day by day. (22 weeks and 4 days today!) And while Jamaica might not be practical for now, we will get there soon enough.

Week 22 – An End and a Beginning

We reached Week 22 on Monday, April 4th. This was a milestone because Sophia made it to 22 weeks, which is 2 weeks longer than we had expected. Each day and each week with her is pretty amazing now. It was also a milestone because this is two weeks after the surgery, when the risks of complications and infection were the highest. I had wished so much for being on the other side of these two weeks. I can’t think of another time in my life when I wished for something so much, something that was so important, that would change my life and our family so quickly and permanently. It feels amazing to be here.

The hospital, surgery and recovery have come to an end. Now there is another beginning. We have six weeks to go until we reach 28 weeks, when Sophia would have a very good chance for survival if she was delivered early. More rest. More prayers. More grieving for Grace. More hope for Sophia.

How Did We Get Here?

In case you have been out of the loop, here is how it all started.

Last December, my husband and I found out we were pregnant with twins. We were very excited, grateful, hopeful and a little bit terrified. Then in March, at just 5 months pregnant, I was admitted to the hospital with pregnancy complications. A few days later, I gave birth to our baby girl Grace. She was much to young to survive and was with us only a short time. We are still grieving for Grace and we think about her every day.

We were told we would loose both twins, but strange things happened and we had some great doctors and I’m still pregnant with our second baby girl, Sophia. It is rare and pretty much a miracle to deliver one twin too early and keep the second one months longer. We started out with equal parts of hope and fear, but have become more comfortable with hope and are grateful for each week that passes.

A few important dates:

April 30 – Week 24 – If delivery happens after this date, there is a chance Sophia will survive.

May 28 – Week 28 – If delivery happens after this date, there is a very good chance Sophia will survive.

I’m at home on bedrest. I can sit up and walk around some, but can’t move around a whole lot. This is a different pace than what I’m used to.

I will let ya’ll know how it goes…

Welcome to At Home With Sophia

This is a mini-blog of sorts to give updates on how Carol and Sophia are doing. Instead of sending out emails that might miss some people and bother other people, I’ll update this site once a week to say how we are doing and people can check the site when they have time. It is a public blog, to keep things simple, so I’ll keep it more or less anonymous. Feel free to pass along the link to others who want to know what is up.

Carol